Avenues of Approach
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Grotuu the Unspeakable's Review: The editorial staff has now moved on from flouting Grotuu's orders to scurrilous mockery of Grotuu's policy initiatives. When Grotuu commanded that more recent movies and books be reviewed, Grotuu did NOT mean to suggest that we review unpublished manuscripts! Why? Why do they persist in tormenting Grotuu? Rest assured, filthy editorial creatures, that when Grotuu finally locates your offices, there will be punishment! However, in fairness to the mammal whose work this is, Grotuu feels that, for now, a proper review of this manuscript is warranted. Here is the author's summary of her work: "Avenues of Approach chronicles protagonist Darby Kilrain's search for security, love and community. The narrative moves back and forth in time as Darby recounts her journey of self-discovery as she makes her way out of the trailer park and through the rigorous demands of an Army ROTC training camp, always subconsciously searching for the father she lost at the age of four. It is at camp that she meets Sgt. Virgil, a taciturn war hero on the verge of retirement, who sees in Darby his one last chance to create a real legacy. As he teaches her about loyalty and living life with true honor, Darby begins to fully realize that she is the only one who can create and define the world to which she belongs." The summary above sounds a bit pretentious to Grotuu, but Grotuu cannot hold this against the author, as summary-writing is a truly odious task. Grotuu also felt that the role of Sergeant Virgil was not nearly as prominent as advertised, and Grotuu would have found his imminent demise, perhaps due to infection from some flesh-eating microbe, more satisfying than retirement. The protagonist was likeable and, in fact, brought back fond memories of one of Grotuu's own female hatch-mates who, sadly, was devoured by Grotuu in a dominance struggle many cycles ago. The more poignant moments in this book impressed themselves quite powerfully in Grotuu's mind. Should this book ever be published, Grotuu will buy a copy.
Matt Milton's Review: I'm not sure why anyone would want to read this book. It's just a story about a girl who - Sabnach can remain silent no longer! The incarnation of the Anti-Christ is nigh! All hail the Appointed Bearer of our new god on Earth!
Ed Phillips's Review: what the hell kind of name is darby???
Judith Tolbert's Review: Who does this girl think she is? You can't just step in out of nowhere and put your manuscript down in front of Grotuu! What about my book? You promised! It's -nggkkggkndskfskk- Forgive me. I obey Grotuu in all things. Avenues of Approach is a highly nuanced work in which Ms.
Mann attempts to get back at everyone who ever gave her a hard time
as a child. She's such a vindictive little -nggk- While the novel has
a certain sophomoric emotional appeal, and is an interesting exploration
of the mid-western post-apocalypse landscape, I found that there was
not enough conflict to keep the reader interested.
Calvin Schultz's Review: First of all, the young lady's name is Janie Ginocchio. Even she admits this. It is only the liberal-feminist-dominated editorial staff of Yellow ButterFlavored Grease that insists on using her maiden name. I don't know why Grotuu has not dealt with these rapscallions yet. Mrs. Ginocchio's book seems promising at first. The protagonist appears to be progressing well through her ROTC training and learning many valuable lessons. I have often thought that everyone should spend some time in the military as a requirement for citizenship. It is important to understand the discipline and nobility of service. Unfortunately, the author's idea of "reinventing" herself at the end is [truncated because Calvin once again tried to spoil the end]
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