Evanescence
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Matt Milton's Review: This album features the songs, "Bring Me To Life," and "My Immortal" which are prominent pieces of the Daredevil movie soundtrack. Devil! Fah. As if mortal film makers could ever hope to comprehend even the faintest hints of what a devil truly is. While the movie's departure from the deservedly classic storyline is disappointing, the songs were pretty good. I'd like to do a review of Daredevil, but I'm told that at this point it would be against editorial policy. All editors will crawl skinless through the quagmire of their own banality when the Lords of the Pit rise and take their rightful place as this world's rulers.
Carolyn Maccabee's Review: [Editor's Note: Carolyn once again failed to turn in a review, although she has been back in the office, so we looked on her computer to see if she left us anything. After breaking three different encryption schemes and translating the text from Basque, we uncovered the following review.] This album had a powerful effect on me, and at first I wasn’t sure why. After I listened to "My Immortal," for example, I cried for half an hour. The style of the album seems at first to be fairly typical goth / heavy metal. The first song, "Going Under," is full of electric guitar-pounding and angst. As I listened to the album a second time, however, especially the single, "Bring Me To Life," I began to realize what was different about these songs. A careful look at "Bring Me To Life" illustrates my point. The song begins quietly, asking the listener to imagine looking into the singer's eyes, "like open doors," and go deeper, where "my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold." The music and the lyrics slowly bring us up with the speaker as she implores us to, "wake me up inside." The mystical implications to this process should be obvious to anyone. These words have power even for the casual listener; when properly explicated, these ritual processes tap powerful forces. In other words, they're not songs at all. At least, they're not just songs; they're spells. And they're good ones. That fool Grotuu has slipped. He's finally handed me what I need to defeat him. And he doesn't even know it!
Ed Phillips's Review: When I heard these nineballs were doing a music review I was like, this is going to suck. But this Evanessence cd Fallen has some real graunch. But I saw some pictures of the singer on the web and shes not as hot as they make her look on the cover. I wouldn't throw her out of bed though LOL.
Calvin Schultz's Review: I don't know much about the music the young people like, but I trust Matt's judgement. That young man has really grown up in the past few months. I'm quite impressed with his work and with the way he carries himself. I think Grotuu is pleased as well.
Judith Tolbert's Review: They're not really very evanescent, are they? Did anybody else notice that?
Grotuu the Unspeakable's Review:
Poor Carolyn. While Grotuu truly swells with pride at the cleverness of his employee-creatures when they have significant achievements, Grotuu also feels great disappointment when they so grossly underestimate him. Rest assured, her transgressions shall be appropriately punished. Grotuu did have some opportunity to listen to the strange calls of this young pack of mammals and did find them somewhat soothing. Grotuu found the many references to weeping and sinking and drowning to be quite an inspiration. In general, however, Grotuu prefers Ministry. Grotuu found disturbing undertones of human dignity and redemption in Fallen.
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